Suicide. Let’s have a conversation.
It all started when…
My oldest brother Pat, died in 1983 at the age of 30 by suicide. We were aware of his struggles with depression, but could’ve never fathomed his intentional exit from our world. Following his death, my remaining two brothers, my sister and I made a pact. We promised one another we would never again allow despair to go unchecked. We would support each other no matter what.
And then came the unthinkable. At the age of 57, my second oldest brother Neil took his life. The devastation and raw shock threatened every reasonable thought. How could Neil have chosen to leave us knowing the heartache of suicide’s wake? My brother Gerry, my sister Kathy and I were at a loss. The only option was to hold on to one another through our collective and compounded grief.
“Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.”
Photo by Aleksandr Ledogorov on Unsplash
Gerry (brother), Kathy (sister), and Anne
Following Neil’s death, the loss of two brothers to suicide felt jarring. I began to write about my family experience. After my essay was published in the Dayton Daily News regarding my family’s very personal experiences with suicide, I was invited to join with others who knew too well this world of loss. My community involvement with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) has been therapeutic and educational. I have cultivated dear and treasured friendships with those who have mourned those they love to suicide. Through our losses, we are bound together by dedication to eradicate the epidemic of suicide.
“In the case of unspeakable loss, good will never match the heartbreak of tragedy. The altered path, however, most assuredly can be filled with hope and light.”
I have included links to very worthy suicide prevention organizations. I invite you to contact me if you feel comfortable sharing your story of suicide, or if you have any questions. If I don’t know the answer, I sure will put you in contact with someone who does. Depression doesn’t have to be a death sentence. Gerry, Kathy and I are now part of the club of heartbreak we didn’t ask to join. In my unique role as a writer, I will continue to join with others to talk about suicide, hoping to reveal shared spaces of joy and healing. By doing so, we can join together and be part of the good rising.
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
helpful resources
The Jason Foundation
Dedicated to prevention of youth suicide.
The Trevor Project
Helping LGBTQ youth in crisis.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - Online Chat
You can contact me directly: Anne Marie Romer, email me
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
A foundation whose mission is to fund research, advocate, create educational programs, and support survivors of suicide loss.
Out of the Darkness (OOD) Walks
These community events are designed to bring awareness to the issues related to suicide and provide a safe and welcoming space for those who have been touched by the tragedy of this unique loss.
My Personal Writings on Suicide Awareness
