Appreciation for Caregivers
My husband and I made a recent visit to the hospital to visit a very dear friend who was working through some medical complications due to cancer treatment. No one likes to be in the hospital, and this time of year compounds the angst due to holiday delays in scheduling tests, learning results of those tests, and the overall exacerbated loneliness of being away from home when feeling miserable. As our friend was trying to maintain a positive attitude amidst pain and discomfort, his wife was immersed in the full time role of being her husband’s advocate; the keeper of all things medically related. Medical test results were a click away on her computer. She had an ongoing list of questions for the medical staff, and her hands were never far from the laying of tender touch to her husband’s back or legs. She made sure all his nutritional favorites were on hand to address his recent and worrisome weight loss. I was humbled by her embrace of his care as I saw the stretch of her love. I can probably guess with certainty this woman could have never imagined this journey through the difficult and demanding world of cancer, yet here she was in the pause of routine life so that she could make sure her husband’s needs were met.
Caregivers are the unsung heroes for the vulnerable. Identifying and addressing the demands of those who are compromised can quickly become all consuming. Just ask a spouse of one fading into dementia, or an adult child who visits the long term care facility each day to make sure her parent is met with tenderness and competent care. Parents of children with special needs live in a world defined by a deep commitment to make sure their child has the best opportunities for abundant life. The gamut of situations where we find ourselves called to care for a loved one are vast and worthy of profound appreciation.
I remember as we entered my mom’s end stage of life. My siblings and I were able to find a caregiver that provided companionship, conversation and laughter that reached far beyond my mom’s tether to oxygen tubing and rose colored velveteen armchair. Her caregiver expanded a compromised world with respect, laughter, and peace of mind. Companion caregivers’ infuse meaning and purpose in the mundane of those who aren’t able to do much for themselves. Tending to my mom’s comfort care embodied a sacred space of gratitude and left a wake of indebtedness that lingered years after her peaceful passing.
Navigating a way towards comfort and wellness are both humbling and inspiring. Seeing someone you love become weaker, wincing from pain, or unable to live a robust life is hard. For caregivers, there’s little time to lament. Rather, they are called to advocate and navigate a path towards healing, more ease, and hopeful reconstruction of bountiful life. Caregivers can’t afford to put their own desires first. Their mission becomes that of another. Exhaustion is inevitable, but there’s always more to do. Medication schedules, personal care, and coordination of support services supersede fatigue. Even if time away from the person needing care is allotted, the heart and mind seldom detach from thoughts of what more needs to be done.
In this week between holiday celebrations when parties continue and many take time off to enjoy, I send a note of admiration to all caregivers. Our recent visit to the hospital gave me an opportunity to see you all again with renewed respect and admiration. As we prepare to turn the page to a new year, I wish all caregivers simple delights as you continue to offer the unconditional gifts of yourself.