A Heart Check: Our Mental Health Amidst Covid

I’ve written about the death of my two brothers, Pat and Neil, to suicide many times. Their choice to end their lives continues to be heart wrenching. As I watch my brothers’ children marry, raise children of their own, pursue dreams and build productive lives, the void of their fathers’ presence never gets easier. My heart breaks, still. 

September marks National Suicide Awareness month. Every year in recent memory, I’ve been sharing my family’s experience hoping others are helped. Now, the call to expand the conversation regarding depression and despair feels even more acute. Covid-19 is playing havoc with our mental health. 

Quiet and guarded moments of despair are growing. According to a recent study by the CDC, one in four people polled considered suicide because of the pandemic. Also, 30 % reported symptoms of anxiety or depression. The Dayton Daily News recently reported that suicide is the leading cause of death with those serving in the Air Force. The numbers are staggering, and too many of us know this dark reality that permeates our hearts and the hearts of those we love.

I’ve been involved in suicide awareness advocacy efforts in our Dayton community. Until now, we’ve had a rhythm; a yearly calendar of events, including the Out of the Darkness Community Walk sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Over the past several years, we’ve felt movement in the goal to impact others regarding all issues related to suicide. We felt we were getting somewhere, and then Covid hit. 

I think about those that have a tendency for depression, and those who never knew what being “down” meant until they worked from home, lost their jobs, or found themselves with nowhere to escape their own self-imposed torments. I am not a clinical community mental health specialist, but my guess is that over the past 6 months, there are so many more who walk among us that are struggling with self-worth or the willingness to keep moving forward. The heavy burden of depression has spread its yoke far and wide these last seven months.

Solutions are hard to pinpoint when we’re encouraged to remain distant from one another. Yet we must continue to chip away at the stigma and uncomfortable aura surrounding mental health issues. I challenge myself all the time to talk about my brothers and their journeys even when I know it might make others uncomfortable or place me in the space of renewed grief. I remind myself that there may be just one listener who connects my experience with his or her own. My hope every day is to illuminate all aspects of depression so that light can reach the lost or helpless amidst a very personal and private darkness. 

For those who wish to be part of the solution during Covid-19, I offer a humble suggestion. In addition to wearing your mask, don’t be afraid to ask those around you how they are really doing. If you are struggling, say so. Even expending the breath to say, “I’m having a hard time” allows new space to inhale a bit of fresh air that can expand contracted pain. You might be surprised to hear a response of common understanding. We must attend to one another’s hearts. My brothers, in their absence, propel me forward with the charge to help others know it is through brokenness new life flows. What better time during a pandemic than to share our stories of struggle. My guess we all have something to say.