A Pre-Thanksgiving Thought

Thanksgiving is on the near horizon and I couldn’t be more excited. For the first time in many years, my entire family will be present which will be a precious gift for me.

What I love most about Thanksgiving, which I am sure many of you will agree, is that the day is simply about gathering. There are no pressures about buying gifts and little fatigue from too many parties. That will come soon enough. Because the lack of peripheral clutter doesn’t dominate this holiday, I find myself taking stock of the past year. It’s a good exercise to expand my awareness beyond my own table to note others who’ve traversed some challenging days.

The first Thanksgiving following the loss of my brother and my mom was trying. As you can imagine, it was bittersweet for my family to gather without them. Certainly, we needed our own moments to shed tears of grief, but then we came together for a collective embrace which reminded us of the love that binds us, even amidst heartache. That love brought joy to the surface of our loss. We carried on able to smile, laugh and toast to all that we had.

I’m keenly aware that many will have a particularly difficult time on Thanksgiving. When a spouse or child is deployed, and their brave military commitment keeps them away from home, the table feels incomplete. Many are trying to cope with illness, poor prognosis, or a road that does not afford twilight dreams of growing older. Others in our Dayton community are still trying to put their homes back together following the devastation of tornadoes or grieving loves ones senselessly lost. Countless are struggling in a multitude of ways.

Many find themselves in the midst of unmeasurable challenge who are still able to smile with joy and rest in the good that still coats their broken hearts. For every frivolous concern I have about whether the turkey is overcooked or if there’s enough cauliflower gratin, I think about all those who have profound worries that define their days. I know and love many of them.

For all who may have a tough time this Thanksgiving, I offer a wish that you may find simple joys somewhere. In our calm before the swirl of cooking, baking and entertaining, perhaps it is a good reminder that all of us may need to step into the closet and cry a bucket of tears. But don’t stay there my friends. Come back into the light, and allow yourself to look someone somewhere in the eye. My hope is that they will meet you with a smile, and empower you to move on knowing hope lives. 

For me, the grocery list is in process. I’m completing the menu of my kids’ favorite dishes. I have a plethora of fun art activities ready for my grandchildren. The number of dinner places have been counted on my fingers over and over again to make sure I’ll have enough chairs (I am historically one short). All feels right this year, and I am grateful. I also know years when all isn’t right. This essay is my smile for anyone who may need it. Happy Thanksgiving.