Almost Perfect Is OK By Me
I’d been looking forward to this day for months. For the first time in over a year, my entire family would be together. Since last July, we’ve been spread out between Ohio and Mississippi, and with new babies expanding our tribe, it was hard to get together. Yet, here we all were. The real occasion for our reunion was an extended family soiree later in the day. Yet, because my husband and I were about to celebrate our 40thwedding anniversary, I called on all emotional IOU’s with our kids and told them if they weren’t at our house by 11 am for a family lunch, I’d forget to hang their Christmas Stocking come December.
I knew our time together would be brief. All I wanted was to have my 4 children and their people around the same table so I could enjoy a moment of relish. Everyone present is a mother’s dream. Our grandchildren were exuberant as they, too, were so happy to be reunited. Lots of hugging and embracing ensued. I had one additional wish. I wanted a family photo. I didn’t care about who wore what, I just wanted everyone in the frame.
It was a beautiful day. Late July decided to bestow a sunny day with low humidity and pleasant temperatures. We set up two tables on our outside deck. Imagine the romanticism of Tuscany rolled beneath the grand Sweet Gum tree which holds court over our outdoor deck. Granted this was Centerville, Ohio, but I felt the same idyllic vibe of rolling European hills.
We all sat down with subs and salad dished up, and began to really catch up with one another. I savored my children reconnecting face to face. Our daughter, Holly, asked, “So, Mom and Dad, what is the best thing about being married 40 years?” Oh my, I thought. Talk about a loaded question.
“Well,” I pondered. How could I encapsulate 40 years of marriage? I looked at all my kids and their families all rolled into the same vista. For a split second, I was transformed. Everyone there….grandchildren giggling…..and the weather gods presenting perfection. My husband and I looked at one another, our eyes connecting in joy.
As I took a deep breath ready to offer a thoughtful response, from around the corner of our driveway came the deafening sound of a commercial-sized lawn mower, blades down, roaring onto our backyard grass. So much for the Tuscan moment. My husband and I looked at one another again. Silly me for thinking our moment of perfection could be even close to perfect.
All we could do was laugh. We quickly noted the amount of time it took for the lawn mower to circle the parameter of our yard, for it was just that amount of time for a conversational exchange to take place before we were drowned out again. And then there were the weed eaters and blowers….but I think you get the idea.
As I reflected, I realized the lawn mower offered the best answer to the question from my Holly. The best part of being married for 40 years is that we are able to roll with it all. Sometimes almost perfect, other times side-railed by the unexpected roar of life from around the bend. Celebrating children and grandchildren, and embracing the young man on the lawnmower who was just trying to finish his hard work on a Saturday afternoon. It’s all good. It’s all important.
As far as that photo I requested be done? Never happened. Too many nap times. No worries, however. We squeezed in a moment the next day before everyone dispersed. Flexible expectation and gratitude always. Maybe that’s what 40 years means after all.