An Invitation for Donald Trump

Photo by Alvin Engler on Unsplash

I would love to invite Donald Trump for dinner.  Putting politics aside, I think it would be interesting to give him a taste of Ohio living.  I’m sure he’s used to spending time in the corners and coasts of the world, so lets think of what it would be like to have him visit Dayton offering the opportunity for bravado to meet humility.  It may do him some good.I wouldn’t really change anything in my home.  I would show him what it looks like to have a kitchen with a pile of bills next to the phone in line to be paid.  Billionaires have bills too, but Mr. Trump probably has an entire company dedicated to paying his bills. As much as I would like to admit I have an immaculate home, most assuredly there is dog hair somewhere where the vacuum’s missed.  Our grass is trim because we cut it ourselves, and the only feature resembling a Trump Tower is the chimney flute stretching just beyond our rooftop.  We don’t have a cook, so I would probably make him my specialty, stuffed shells.  Combine that with a Pine Club dressed salad and some Dorothy Lane Market’s Killer Brownies, and we’d be set.We would definitely eat outside (whether permitting), and I would tell the Donald what it is like to have great neighbors. I wonder if Mr. Trump would know where to go if he were two eggs short while making a chocolate cake.  I could be wrong, but my guess is he doesn’t make cakes, even chocolate ones.I would try to describe our trees whose autumn colored leaves blanket our yard each October. I wonder if he has ever felt the crunch of fallen leaves under his feet or had a loved one remove a twig from his hair.  (Probably I would not bring up any hair issues.  Some things are better left alone.)  There is no guarantee that the sound of children playing and tree trimmers wouldn’t interrupt the hopeful ease in conversation.  I would tell him some stories about the extraordinary people we know who live ordinary lives right here in our neighborhoods.

I wonder if Donald Trump laughs. Most of the time when I see him being interviewed, his face has that scowl which looks like he’s about to fire the reporter. Do you think he has a good sense of humor? My own children don’t even laugh at my jokes, but I think I could at least try to tell him the story of how I had toothpaste streaked for an entire day on my work uniform.

Our country is great for many reasons. One of them is that anyone can run for President of the United States. Time will tell if Donald Trump has any staying power. For now, as he enjoys his surge in the national polls and has no problem talking quite loud, he may be very well served spending time with those living in heart of our country. We may lead a simpler life than Mr. Trump, but make no mistake. We are not simple minded. Voters in Ohio hold the golden ticket in presidential elections. Perhaps it is time for Mr. Trump to put on his listening ears, try wearing a golf shirt, and absorb some of our midwest charm. I would have to remind him that we have just a regular driveway. I’d suggest he leave his black limo at home.