Empty Nest...Not!
Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash
Last May, our youngest daughter graduated from college. Because she had already secured a job, my husband and I spent her graduation weekend giving one another fists bumps in celebration. Finally, after 30 plus kid-centered years, we would be empty nesters. All four children would be independent with their own health insurance, their own budgets, and their own laundry detergent. My husband and I looked forward to cooking dinners for two, the absence of shoes randomly lying in in the house, and the ability to go to the grocery store needing only a hand held basket to pick up a few items.Six months later, I found myself driving a U-Haul along the Interstate 70 corridor. The contents of the packed truck were from my daughter’s one bedroom apartment. She was moving home. A job offer she could not refuse caused her to rethink her immediate plans of remaining in Columbus, and within the span of about 2.5 hours decided to accept this new position. She asked whether it would be ok if she moved home for a few months so that she could commute to her new job in Cincinnati with the anticipation of living with friends come summer.
“Sure,” we said, as I looked at my uncluttered laundry room realizing its orderliness was in jeopardy. There are rewards to raising four children and experiencing their departure from home one at a time. A clean laundry room is one of them.This past October, our son married.“Mom,” he asked prior to his wedding. “We don’t have much room in our apartment for wedding gifts, do you mind if we have everything sent home until we move to a larger place next summer?”
“Sure.” I said, lamenting the fact that my son’s bedroom had been clear of clutter since they moved out. Inside out t-shirts, balled up socks, and lumpy made beds had been staples in that room for years. Imagine my delight when I walked past that same room in its constant state of cleanliness. Now, since the wedding day, I keep that door shut; now it looks like a Macy’s warehouse with boxes and boxes stacked full of whatever it is young couples register for these days.“Oh, and by the way,” this same son said recently, “I have lots of (post graduate) interviews near Dayton the first week in January. We will probably spend most of that time staying at home. That ok?”“Sure.” I said, imagining my empty refrigerator filled with casserole type recipes from a former time. I guess I’ll need a bigger shopping cart for my grocery run.I don’t know what I was thinking envisioning a day when my house would be permanently clutter free with scented candles burning on my kitchen counter and couch pillows placed worthy of a House Beautiful spread. I suppose my fur shedding dogs kept me grounded in the less than perfect existence of home life.The concept of “empty nest” is a bit of a tease, I think. When you spend so many years building a home strengthened by joys, sorrows, laughter and tears, the threads cannot so easily be severed. I suppose the comings and goings of our children with various degrees of chaos is meant to be for a little while longer. If this is still happening in 10 years, refer me to a therapist. For now, the good news is there will be someone to help with the dishes.