Hair? Who Needs It?
Featured in the Dayton Daily News
I overheard my husband counseling my friend whose sister was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Full disclosure, my husband is an oncologist, one whose mission is to help navigate the journey from cancer diagnosis through treatment towards hope. After several minutes of shedding light on her diagnosis, I heard him say as a matter of fact, “In a few weeks, she’ll lose her hair.” And then his voice lifted in optimism. “But then, she’ll love not having to deal with her hair!” I could only imagine the deconstruction of dread his words imparted. For many of us who are shameful in vanity, hair is everything. I know I spend quite a bit of resources to make sure the world is unaware of my grey. I have hair products, round brushes, and finishing paste to make sure my coiffed due looks as decent at 7 pm as it did at 7 am despite the fact that I was not blessed with locks of lusciousness. Regardless, it is about having a good hair day.
But we all know life throws us curve balls. Sometimes we find ourselves in the middle of a story without invitation. Navigation is seldom easy and requires a sustained resilience. We are called to find joy amidst loss and wonder amidst confusion. For those whose quest for healing means they’ll lose their hair, the thought is probably filled with trepidation. When beauty is measured by the latest red carpet walk, or when the anticipation of feeling pretty is threatened, one can feel deflated deep within the layers of self. When that which we know and trust is stripped away, it can make us feel vulnerable, an anomaly among piers, or an alien among neighbors.
But then someone can show up and give a whole new perspective, just like my husband offered. I encourage those of you who have lost your hair to see yourselves as we see you. Without the distraction, the brilliance of your eyes pierce through the mundane. Your unshielded smiles radiate an encouraging path for others who struggle with life challenges. Your loveliness becomes contagious. And although I have never lost my hair, I imagine many who do find a sense of beauty and liberation they could have never imagined, despite their unwelcome journey. Hair? Maybe my husband was right. Who needs it? Embracing a “new you” may indeed by freeing. To you who are about to lose your hair to unexpected life circumstance, I challenge you to embrace your respite from hair dryers, release your expectation to measure your day based on how your hair cooperates. What defines you will not be the fact that you lost your hair. You will be defined by your courage, boldness and audacity in your quest for life. The rest of us will be in awe. As my friend’s sister begins her journey towards healing, I hope she knows her beauty will be exemplified by her story. She will join the ranks of so many who continue to teach what it means to be stunning.