Welcoming November With Reflection

We are officially within the world of November, where plans for Thanksgiving begin to ruminate in my mind. In preparation for this year’s iconic meal, I can’t help but think about years past and the sweet memories of my mom.

My mom, although extraordinary in matters of the heart, was not a very good cook. I’m the first to admit her Thanksgiving turkey was a historically dry, and the cooked frozen cauliflower was a bit more watery than Velveeta cheesy. Despite her lack of culinary expertise, my mom managed to create the best Thanksgiving experience. I remember the cluster of people standing in my mom’s small kitchen in the early afternoon. My siblings, our spouses and children were quite simply “in the way” as my mom negotiated her cooking space. Wearing a plaid wool skirt, cardigan sweater, with an inevitable run in her stocking hose, she stood in her penny loafers checking each stove burner to see how the pot contents were coming along. Sleep deprived from her pre-dawn appointment to stuff the turkey, gladness rose above her fatigue while in the company of her family. With a twinkle in her eye, she’d direct us to “get out of her way,” but no one ever did. The chaos of the kitchen activity was laced with laughter and tease. My brother would “test” the resting turkey, finding remnants of meat to sample.  My other brother would help to stir the cornstarch mixed with potato water so as to thicken the struggling gravy. Reflections of those days are softened by the way my mom exuded happiness despite her life struggles.  

Few of us dodge adversity. The continuum between and sorrow is vast, yet none of us are immune to the unexpected twists and turns of life with each passing year. I take stock of what the last year has brought those I love. The pain of loss exists in tandem with the bliss of new beginnings. Yet here we are, ready to gather again. For some, scars are just beginning to heal due to unwelcome burdens. For others, the presence of gladness unimagined a year ago is evident in the bustling of excitement. My mom suffered through unimaginable loss, yet each Thanksgiving her smiles of gratitude cast water on the fires of sadness. Her prayerful words to commence our shared meal always centered on gratitude and hope, regardless of the heartaches we carried.

Thanksgiving is a simple holiday, where the celebration is centered around the table, the care in food preparation, and the ability to smile with one another. Gathering is cathartic. I realize now how important it was for my mom to have everyone collected, and why she loved for us to be with her in the kitchen. There is power of renewal in being together, regardless of how dry the turkey may be. New little ones, making their debut for their first Thanksgiving remind those who have suffered loss that hope reigns. Those reconciling disappointments can be encouraged by others who have persevered.

My mom has been gone for many Thanksgivings now, yet her spirit lingers. She set the perfect Thanksgiving table despite the mismatched silverware and piano bench seating. Every year in her honor, we too, sit at the same table whatever it takes. We embrace one another allowing the joys and sorrows of the past year to flow freely amidst the authenticity of our companionship. I’m certain my brother, sister and I will share a moment in remembrance and celebration of the rich Thanksgiving tradition we share. Even more certain is the fact we will all be in the kitchen together.