January's Conundrum
The name for January comes from the Roman God Janus, who’s always depicted with two heads; one head looking forward and one looking back. When I learned the origin of how January became January, my conflicted transition into this new year suddenly made sense. Conventional “new year” wisdom says I need to reassess and re-organize in new found productivity. You know, it’s all about New Year’s Resolutions. But all I want to do is puzzles. I have 30 years’ worth of closets to clean out, but all I want to immerse myself into a good book. How do I reconcile resting with evolving?
Truth be told, I find myself caught in the middle. My admitted problem with puzzles is, well, a problem. I could get lost from now till Spring piecing together scenes from a French countryside or the vicarious visit to a coffee shop with colorful flower beds. My favorite puzzles are those that include photos of my grandkids. The specific search for that illusive puzzle piece that isolates the sparkle in my granddaughter’s eye can be mesmerizing. All worldly definitions of productivity are lost when I become hijacked by a puzzle. January’s mixed message is confusing, especially when I have 30 years' worth of closet clutter to clean out.
So, what’s wrong with me? I feel so torn. Do I stack accomplishments or do I relish in puzzle piece-finding satisfaction? It is such a conundrum, isn’t it? I hate that kind of tension when all I want to do is put together my granddaughter’s twinkling eyes, but there is so much else to do.
But then, a second though about Janus offers a bit of clarity.
As I get older, I realize being busy for the sake of being busy is overrated. Case in point: I love to read, but lately I’ve not had time for reading (with what I have no clue). I haven’t read a book in months. What is that about? Well (other than puzzles) it might be the inability to give myself permission to be still and sit because I feel like there are too many other, more productive things to do. Back in November, my new year resolution was to clean out 30 years of closet clutter. I can tell you that has not quite yet happened, but the looming task nags my mind.
Janus challenges us to find contentment in the midst of different directions.
Unapologetically, I intend to begin a new puzzle which means the bin of mismatched gloves dating back to my kids’ winter frolic days will remain mismatched and undisturbed at least for another day. However, I also know how good it feels to check a major task off your list and restore new order to your life. Complimenting directions of how you spend your time can really be beneficial. Sitting down with a good book after decluttering my boys’ middle school collection of math notebooks feels extra good.
As we pivot to renewal and recommitment, let’s also be gentle with ourselves. I tend to be very hard on myself with expectations of efficiency. But I also love puzzles which hasn't always fit into my historical definition of “time well spent.” But January reminds us it doesn’t have to be one way or the other.
As they say, there’s a season for everything. The two views of January remind me that giving ourselves time to enjoy is just as important as checking off our “to-do” lists. Maybe Janus knew the answer all along. Making space for delight is a win-win. Cleaning out closets might just make room for more puzzles, and that’s a very January thing.