Looking Through Christmas Cards
A few days ago, I was preparing to send Christmas cards. As I stuffed the photo card of my family into the envelopes, I smiled. My selected photo was a snapshot into one of the best and most put together moments of my family’s year. The image captures my daughter’s wedding day, and although most days I’m makeup free in leggings and tennis shoes, this photo represents a moment of perfection. We all look pretty fancy, and our smiles reflect sheer joy. I just love it. However, I’m also aware that life isn’t always about false eyelashes and tuxedoes. Most of us know such snapshots of bliss are sandwiched between other days that require resilience and strength.
That same day, I was talking with an acquaintance who is in the throes of angst. The worry expressed in her eyes gave her away. She talked about her husband’s difficult journey through metastatic cancer. Her words tip toed into despair but then rose in hope. She was open about her burden, but obviously lifted by good news. She will become a grandmother in a few weeks. The cadence of our conversation vacillated between good and hard, joy and heartache, and the cohesiveness that such varied experience brings to a big and varied life. Good news provided the healing balm to sustained heartache. Back and forth; resisting the constant urge to cry with rising joy. The spectrum of life was in full display as I talked with this most beautiful woman.
Every holiday season, I can’t help but think about those navigating a new reality never imagined one year ago. Loss, disappointment, health scares, or blind sighting heartache can inject turmoil into a lost ordinary in a nanosecond. Bittersweet may become a new normal. Eventually there is a peace in knowing all joys are filtered through grief, yet all grief is potentially lifted by joy. And so it goes, right?
I love the Christmas cards displayed in my kitchen. Coordinating outfits and apparent gladness frame family poses, mine included. However, my guess is for many Christmas card senders, this past year included heartache and pain never expected or invited. The guarantee of trouble-free life is defined by fragility. It’s just the way authentic life is. Yet, despite the reality of hard detours, I love the images of pure joy and togetherness. Why not relish in coordinating outfits?
Happiness doesn’t exist in a vacuum. As we wind down the year and try to put some stamp on our lives via Christmas card, we need to remind ourselves that our stories reach far beyond the photo. We all know the experience of being happy is facilitated by the experience of being sad. Few of us escape difficulty, which leads me to this year’s realization.
Christmas cards are great. Opening the mail each day is fun. Their collection brings me back to the conversation with my acquaintance. As she so eloquently expressed, life is a continuum. And so for those like her who are searching in the midst of difficulty, I hope goodness will continue to find her. Most likely, her delight will come in the form of little toes and sweet snuggles. Who knows what the next year will bring, but my guess is her authenticity will guide her no matter what. What an extraordinary and honest snapshot into her life. And, I hope some tiny fingers will hold her weathered hands through it all. The cadence of life. Glistening smiles with honest tears. Now that’s a perfect Christmas card in the making.