Standing Tall Amidst Challenge
A few weeks ago, I attended The Miami Valley Hospital Foundation’s Champions of Hope Event; an evening dedicated to 4 inspiring individuals who were recognized for their achievements in the battle against cancer. One of those inspiring people, Mary Lynn Dorow, I’ve known since high school. It’s been over 40 years, but I remember her spitfire ways, sparkly presence, and electric smile back then; and in that respect, nothing has changed. What has changed for Mary Lynn is her battle with ovarian cancer. For the past 7 years, this unexpected and unwelcome journey has stretched her determination and grit in ways she could never imagined. Yet, here she was on this special evening dressed in a sassy teal (the color of ovarian cancer awareness) sequence dress with teal and rhinestone stiletto heels being honored for her impact and zest for life. Hundreds gathered to celebrate her and 3 additional community peers who are also making a difference in the difficult world of cancer. Mary Lynn’s “in your face” determination to meet her unimaginable struggle with continued grace and style left many, including me, in awe.
I listened to Mary Lynn speak to the packed room, many wearing teal neckties and scarves, I was struck not only by what she said, but also by what she didn’t say. As I watched her shine and heard how her cancer journey has been full of repeated knock downs, I realized there’s a difference between being knocked versus being bogged down in life. One requires fortitude of mind and heart, and the latter is a resignation to flow amidst the inconvenient currents of life. Unmet expectations, fatigue, or other transient (and I argue, irrelevant) circumstances so often keep us on the periphery of life’s fullest. You know how it is when you define a bad day because your car battery died, or you missed a connecting flight, or your favorite team lost in overtime. It is easy to be swept away by narrowed perspective; where we literally miss the blooming world just outside our window.
Mary Lynn’s words linger with me. “Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you've ever been, to stand up taller than you ever were,” she said. Mary Lynn is one of so many who are figuratively and often literally knocked to their knees by disease, loss, or trauma; yet they rise up in courageous beauty, determination, and the choice to live in abundance despite pain, fear, or grief. Mary Lynn’s words felt like a bucket of cold water on my soul. As she spoke with such poise and earned respect, I thought of how often I get bogged down by my own little mind.
I was reminded of this again during a recent coffee date with another brave woman who is still fighting a 25 year long history with cancer. With her, too, I was humbled as I witnessed her steely determination despite her recent “bad news” day.
Like so many who experience that moment that defines life before and after, 7 years ago Mary Lynn found herself smack dab in a fight for life. In her closing remarks she said, “We can’t always choose the music life plays for us but we can choose how we dance to it!” She persists in the quest to stand taller each day in spite of the physical and emotional toll of her cancer journey. Despite the dramatic knock of her life, with the help of those sparkly stiletto heels, Mary Lynn continues to stand, and I might add, dance among the tallest. She will continue to inspire me to shed the bog and stand tall in her shadow of hope and gratitude.