Thanksgiving, Gravy and All

I’d like to share with you the tale of two Thanksgiving dinner preparation processes within the scope of my family.  First, let me give you a glimpse into the kitchen my husband and I share. I have the usual Thanksgiving side dishes I’ve been making for years. My challenge is to prepare them ahead of time, either freeze or cook them, and hope it’s 30 degrees outside so I can place the multitude of casserole containers safely outside in my screened-in porch so that all available refrigerator space can be surrendered to the turkey. This brings me to my husband.

Truth be told, I’ve never prepared a Thanksgiving turkey. This is my husband’s turf, and even if I wanted to help him I wouldn’t. You see, my husband is quite persnickety in matters of the kitchen, especially when it comes to his turkey. He’s the type where onions need to be cut just so, somewhere between chopped and diced. Dressing bread cubes need to be small, but not too small as to lose their “oomph.” The meat thermometer has its rightful place atop the stove, and as far as turkey broth goes? My husband has no clue where to find cans of turkey broth, because he makes his own. And his gravy, well, it’s just pretty great. Whereas I grew up with my mom’s gravy which consisted of some cornstarch mixed with “potato water,” then swirled around the bottom of the roasting pan, my husband’s gravy is rich and layered, and would make a pickled tongue sandwich taste good (well, maybe not). My mom had many gifts, but cooking was not one of them. I really have no idea how my husband makes his gravy, because I am too busy replenishing the sink sponge with dish soap. Let’s just say, once my casseroles and pies are done, my job is to follow my husband around cleaning up after him. I feel like I’m the behind the scenes labor force whose sole value is to support the stars; both chef and turkey. 

My daughter, on the other hand, is enjoying pure freedom. In anticipation of the birth of her third child (which came a month early), Kate decided she would order the entire Thanksgiving ensemble from Cracker Barrel. Yes, that’s right. One click on the computer and voila, the meal is scheduled for pickup; turkey, pie, stuffing, gravy and all. She texted me after she confirmed the order and said she had never felt so liberated. No grocery list, no piled-up pots and pans, no timing to make sure everything is hot, no worries. I imagine her doing what is her most favorite part of Thanksgiving, watching the Macy’s Day Parade with her little ones and a nice warm cup of coffee. She’ll be able to even remain in relax mode as the National Dog Show comes on.  A win-win for sure.

Regardless of whether your gravy is store bought, made with potato water, or nurtured with homemade turkey broth, Thanksgiving is a time for pause. I always reflect on where the past year has taken us. I know for those I love, the spectrum of life lived over the past year has yielded the greatest joys and the deepest sorrows. But, like you, we will gather this year with hope that the ability to be together, once again, will heal and be jubilant all at the same time. 

I am grateful for the opportunity to write about it all with you. I know on some level, the angst., pain, delights and lighthearted words I share with you come from our common capacity to understand this spectrum of life we all find ourselves part of. I wish all of you a happy and healthy Thanksgiving.