The Control of the Remote Control
True story.
My husband and I were in a hotel bar in Columbus with friends excited to watch the Ohio State football game. After spending the afternoon with our niece who is full throttle into the tailgate experience, we were ready for a bit more subdued setting. Four TV’s were situated above the perimeter of the bar with a really big screen positioned on another wall encased by an arrangement of comfy couches. The scene was inviting. I had my eye on that comfy couch.
It was almost game time, and we asked the bartender to change the channel on the big screen which was showing a different, less “relevant” game. Without eye contact, and with that Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator monotone kind of voice he said, “We have no remote for that TV, it just stays on that channel.”
Perplexing, yes, but we noticed the bartender seemed overwhelmed trying to accommodate the rush of drink orders. He was doing his best, we could see. The problem was it was kickoff and none of the five TV’s in the Columbus, Ohio hotel bar were streaming the Ohio State football game. What ensued became an exercise in the psychology of men and channel changers.
Leave it to an Indiana Hoosier fan (yes, our Big 10 neighbor) to take control of the situation. With clearance from the bartender, he reached behind the bar to find two remote controls stashed somewhere between tequila and Shirley Temple cherries. Pointing the channel changer to the first TV, he did that familiar sway of arm circles, shoulder waves, and finger pressing so that the vector of the hand-held device would connect with that sweet spot of TV cyberspace. Let’s just say, the TV was feeling a bit sensitive; fickle in its reception. On top of that, two remotes for four TV’s became tricky. In no time, there were four, then five, then six men vying for a chance to control the remote control. Alas, friendly chaos ensued. Changing the channel on TV-ONE lost input to TV-THREE. The successful navigation on TV-TWO switched TV-FOUR to the Home Shopping Network’s Fall boot preview. Camaraderie and laughter stretched far beyond team allegiance. We were all one, after all, as we just wanted to watch the game.
Side note. I don’t know what it is about some (arguably men) who feel the need to control the remote control. But honestly, in a nanosecond, there were 6 guys leaving their freshly poured tapped beers vying for a chance to control 2 remotes. It was a bit funny watching them patiently waiting their chance to work the buttons as if it were rocket science. I could write another side note about who controls the remote in my house, but I imagine it wouldn’t surprise you.
Eventually they did sync. All 4 TV’s successfully streamed the Buckeye game. I have to tell you, however, that is was not a man who eventually mastered the remote artistry. Rather, it was the Hoosier wife who finally took control of the situation. Determined and undeterred, she clicked and angled, and inserted that feminine patience that makes the world turn. One, two, three, four TV’s on the same channel at the same time. Bam! And just like that, the Ohio State bar became one, the bartender relaxed, and we all settled in to a fun afternoon of camaraderie and cheer; thanks to the gal from Indiana. Go Hoosiers!