The Hard Goodbye
Days before the new Covid reality back in early March, my husband and I said goodbye to one of our two little Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. We knew our 12-year-old “elderly” puppies were on borrowed time. Although the act of saying goodbye to Bella was heart wrenching, it wasn’t surprising. She had been struggling for some time in her old age. With our veterinarian’s recommendation, we helped shepherd Bella to a place without discomfort and pain.
Despite the loss, our survivor dog, Bo, became my constant companion. During the initial weeks of social distancing and staying home, his companionship provided solace. It’s like we were not only helping each other mourn the loss of his sister, he helped me navigate the larger, more unprecedented time of uncertainty. While I socially distanced, Bo was constantly by my side, never venturing far from my reach. Our bond became even stronger.
And then, one day too soon, we were faced with loss again. After weeks of not eating and weight loss, an x-ray showed terminal illness for Bo. Again, we were faced with goodbye. The heartache felt all too familiar. Whereas a few months ago there were two 4-legged members of our family, now they were both gone.
Pets provide the kind of camaraderie that is unmatched. They define unconditional love. Regardless of the complication of your human day, pets accept you for whatever you are able to give, or not. I think about the spectrum of life my family navigated with Bella and Bo. From joy to loss, from death to new life, and from energy to depletion; our dogs were just there, waiting and accepting always. Even in adulthood, my children looked forward to reuniting with their furry buddies who helped them grow up with tenderness and unparalleled delight.
Relationships with people require work. We all know that often times that’s hard. Communication, forgiveness, interaction, and mutual understanding with others require effort. Sometimes it’s complicated. Pets, however, are different. Other than food, water, and the opening of the back door, dogs require nothing. Instead, they exude abundant and immeasurable acceptance. Who else dances with elation, wags his tail, greets you with unconditional love no matter what. They intuitively know when your heart aches. Acceptance is abundant, and forgiveness is never an issue. Regardless of the effort you’ve given them, they accept you as you are. Pets demand so little, but give so much.
The silence without paw pitter patters in our home has been marked. Truth be told, I still catch myself; thinking I need to get home to let the puppies out. I still think I need to fill the food bowl first thing in the morning, and I still wish I had a set of deep brown eyes who could reach into the deepest part of my soul. I will be eternally grateful to both our dogs. Their lessons of life will continue to ground me in the simple ways of love and life.