The Way To Love Through Casseroles
I was checking out of the grocery store the other morning, and the woman who was next in line behind me must have been paying attention to the contents of my cart.
“Looks like you’ll be doing a bit of cooking,” she said, obviously noting the food items being scanned across the conveyer belt. Yes, pasta goes with mozzarella and tomatoes and basil; and yes, chicken goes with mushrooms, cream and peas. An observant chef, I thought.
“My daughter is expecting her first baby any day,” I said, so happy to share in my pending joy. “I’ll be cooking quite a bit these next few weeks,” I added. What finer way to show love for an expectant mother (especially from that expectant mother’s mother) than to prepare a multitude of dinners that go straight away to that expectant daughter’s freezer.
It was a no-brainer for me to decide what to make my daughter and her growing family. For years, my kids have attached themselves to those meals which always feel like a hug from me. Whether it was celebration of a 10th birthday dinner, a visit home from college, or a special care package for a multitude of reasons, “stuffed shells” or “chicken and muenster cheese” were among the fan favorites. For the life of me I have no idea how layers of cooked ground beef, carrots and a can of chopped tomatoes could ever constitute gastronomic quality, but my kids love it. Bring on the “layer dinner,” they’d say if here with me.
Every July my grocery lists consist of fresh farm to table ingredients that meet the season. I can find a million uses for fresh corn. Tomatoes from the farmers’ markets beg to be part of a bacon, lettuce and tomato ensemble. Zucchini, watermelon, and peaches are just so splendid. Yet, here I am making all things 9x13. Tis the season for fresco, for fresh picked, and garden delights. My daughter is having her first baby which means I will pretend it’s November and make every comfort meal in my recipe repertoire.
Whether prepared by a mom, a dad, an uncle, or a grandmother, we all have those memories of meals that connect to love. You know how they say that love is a verb? Well, preparing a signature food for a someone or anyone, really, is an extraordinary way to express affection. My mom was not a very good cook, but her poached egg on a piece of toasted Pepperidge Farm bread was, honestly, a balm for everything. Still, my sister makes poached eggs for her adult kids whenever she has the opportunity to do so. For her, it’s an act of love borrowed from our mom.
Fixing a meal qualifies as a love language. Everyone has the ability to make something that can express love. Even the simplest preparations can bring forth a feeling of being seen. I grew up with Campbells Tomato Soup when I was sick, and every time, my mom’s presentation of a bowl of soup on a tray with Ritz Crackers was the perfect prescription. Have you ever had someone make you a cup of tea? Now that is like a steeping embrace for a troubled or wondering heart; or any heart for that matter.
With overstocked freezer in rotation, my daughter will feel the multitude of culinary hugs as she welcomes motherhood; boring “layer dinner” and all. As for me? Once I hold this littlest one in my arms, I might find myself lost in love. Someday, this little one and I will be stuffing shells together. And as an ode to her great-gandmother, we just might have Campbells Tomato Soup and Ritz Crackers for lunch.
Photo by Jonathan Pielmayer on Unsplash