Virtual Grandparenting? Count Me In
Recently my son and his family moved to Mississippi. Prior to their relocation, our three little grandchildren, ages 2-5 lived 15 minutes down the road in the adjacent zip code. Our house was often bustling with their frequent visits. Since their move, our world feels rather quiet and void of chaotic mess. I’ve become a remote grandmother, now, full-time.
I’ve often talked to other grandparents who rely on technology to remain in close relationship with their faraway grandchildren, and now I completely get it.
The story goes like this. I was talking on the phone with my daughter-in-law in Mississippi. We were catching up on how she and her kids were adjusting, how my son was doing in his new job, and the chatter about everything and nothing. Suddenly, she realized that time had escaped her, and rather urgently noted how she needed to run across the street in order to pick up her oldest from kindergarten at the nearby elementary school. The problem was her little 2-year-old was still napping.
“Will you be home for the next 5 minutes?” she asked. “I’m wondering if you could keep an eye on Thomas.”
“Sure,” I said, knowing the limitations of our distance but realizing any request as a grandmother required a “yes” (well, you know what I mean). With her instruction, I subsequently opened their monitor app on my phone, logged in to my daughter-in-law’s account, and just like that, I had a crib-side view of little 2-year-old Thomas slumbering with most assured dreams of garbage trucks and fire engines. He was sleeping soundly, and I became one with the rhythm of his breath. I was so careful not to make a sound as I didn’t want the microphone activation to cause a stir. It was the sweetest grandmother moment with him. For those four and a half minutes, I was able to be completely present, despite the fact that I was over 700 miles away. Our quiet time together was brief, but filled my heart. Nothing else in this snippet of time mattered whatsoever.
Being far away from grandchildren makes my heart long for big hugs or lap time reading books, but I am so grateful for the chance to almost be together via Face Time or monitor sharing. I’m able to see in real time the Lego Disney princess castle being constructed, or praise the painting still wet on the Indiana kitchen table. And for the first time ever, I helped my Mississippi grandson with his homework! Did you know it saves time to just draw one horizontal line the whole width of the paper when practicing the big letter A? Now, I call that one smart kindergartener.
As grandparents we need to accept, always. I would love to have all my grandchildren living close. (Well, maybe not next door; but if that’s the only option I’m ok with it.) But as we all know, we raise children so they have wings. I’m just not sure I’m ok with their winged flight including grandchildren. I am discovering, however, that relationship building with grandkids can happen regardless of distance. Virtual grandparenting? Count me in!