Big Love, Big Healing
Lately, it feels like the world is on fire with unimaginable trauma. Suffering and shock are saturating the brokenness of our world. It is hard to trust in hope when indescribable despair exists.
This past weekend I was feeling particularly saddened by it all. And then, I received a text from my son, Ben. Literally, in that moment I wept with renewed hope that overcame me. Let me explain.
It was almost exactly two years ago when Ben’s dear friend was diagnosed with a very difficult form of cancer. In my April, 2022 article for the DDN, I wrote about him as a way of trying to place the confusion and anguish of it all.
“Several months ago, this (Ben’s) friend was diagnosed at the age of 34 with a very tough cancer. The diagnosis was unimaginable, and brought his young life to a tenuous and worrisome standstill. Suddenly, his existence was defined by oncologists, radiologists, surgeons, and insurance adjusters. The rug from his young life has been pulled out from under him. His chemotherapy regime has been brutal. From a medical standpoint, it needs to be. He is too young and has too much abundant life to live; so blasting the “you know what” cancer cells out of his body is necessary. But this has stretched this young man’s definition of adversity. Feeling sick, depleted, worried, and anxious has become his new normal.”
Since then, Ben’s friend has persisted and continued treatment amidst the uncertainty of cancer’s possible revenge. He commits to a daily exercise of centering and prayer to live abundantly in the world of the unknown. He continues to put the pieces of his life back together so that he is able to push the rubble aside and move forward in life. Through the tributaries of his struggle, however, something amazing has occurred. He’s been lifted by love. And this love has proven to be sure and true, and become a stalwart presence in the journey through such awful adversity.
This past weekend, this young man became engaged to the woman whose instillation of love has lifted him to a renewed place of hope. She’s been holding his hand throughout this unwelcome chapter. Whereas other young couples might grow together through fancy dates or exotic travels, their romance has been built by commitment to grit and celebration of simple pleasures where pain and discomfort are sideswiped by the blessings of ordinary joy. Despite the continuing cancer treatments, side effects and post-surgical challenges that require constant lifestyle modifications, their love is reestablishing a belief that goodness will pave the way to an abundant future.
The text sent by Ben was a close up photo with the biggest smiles and a left hand with the most beautiful engagement ring. The promise of their joy reinforced my faith in perseverance. If this young couple can commit to a future of joy within the history of knowing how the rug can be pulled out from them, so too must we accept the challenge to live life to the very fullest. All the time we hear about awful days of diagnoses, sudden accidents, and yes, too many random acts of heinous violence. Yet, many of us wait too long, surrender to complacency, and put off to tomorrow that which should be embraced today.
I tried to juxtapose worldly heartache with the young couple’s joy. It’s hard, but I realized that the best offering we can give the world is our best selves. Feeling helpless threatens our capabilities to rise up and get back on the saddle. I feel like we owe those who look up towards hope to do the same. Big anguish, I was reminded, is healed by big love.