Mother's Day, With Love

I was in the greeting card aisle at the grocery store perusing Mother’s Day cards for my daughters and daughters-in-laws. Two of them are knee deep into mothering their young and energetic kids. One is expecting her first little one, and my youngest daughter is now mom to an adorable little puppy. I paused for a moment and allowed myself to miss my mom, but am always reassured of her continued presence of love in all I do. I left armed with appropriate cards, even the one acknowledging our new puppy-mom.

Mother’s Day cards all try to communicate the same message. “Thanks for loving me no matter what. Thanks for always being there. Thanks for supporting me.” The overall theme is this: being a mom means having a cold compress, a warm blanket, open arms, and a first aid kit for all emotional needs on hand at all times. It’s one thing to provide in earthy ways, but it’s another to be perceptive, pause with a lingering look, or be curious enough to ask your children if they are ok. Of course, the art of mothering is to be creative enough to disguise your “are you ok,” with another conduit; unique to each child so he or she doesn’t realize you are prying, but you are. 

Mother’s Day is about simplicity. Holding a little baby in your arms and knowing no one can console or intuitively know the nuances of your child is priceless. Little do such infants know they are off the hook in gift giving to their moms. Their swaddled little selves are more than enough. Even as much as I love and wish to be in relationship with my baby grandchildren, I know when they need their mom. 

Nothing beats the sweet fingerprints that create the colorful flower pedals on made with the tender guidance of the pre-school teacher. Having little kindergartners who come home with a single marigold bloom grown from a tiny seed is the best. Illustrated poems, sparkly marker artwork, or hand-picked dandelions are the show-stoppers. And then there are the pudgy armed hugs that show up beside you in bed long before the sun rises. All you might wish for is sleep, but instead you are called to love, and then love some more.

There were a few years when my kids were in the throes of adolescence, and Mother’s Day awareness came only at dinnertime when my husband would clear his throat, raise his eyebrows and ask, “Well, anyone have anything to say to your mom?” Not to worry, now they all do a pretty good job of remembering on their own.

Advertisements might suggest that the perfect Mother’s Day gift is diamond studded heart necklace, a new food processor, or a new monogrammed plush robe (well, that might be ok). But really, the gifts that mean the most for any mothering woman is to be acknowledged for her commitment to crazy love. Whether it’s revolving between roles as emergency contact, homework tutor, stomach flu nurse, swing set pusher or grilled cheese and lemonade maker, moms cover it all - all the time. Even now with adult children, my chicken tetrazzini casserole has immense healing power, as my daughter-in-law knows. She’s aware that the most important ingredient stirred between the noodles is a hug from me. 

In this crazy, unsure and unsettled world, Mother’s Day offers a moment to rest in the gift of love and being loved. I hope all moms (even those with four-legged youngsters) will feel the warm balm of goodness, tenderness, and affection that they give away so freely. That indescribable brand of love makes being a mom so priceless. Once a mom, always a mom. To this day, having had such a great mom and being called mom are my greatest gifts. Happy Mother’s Day to all women who spread that special kind of love.