The Journey of Friendship is Paved With Gold

Recently, I attended a wedding of a young man who I’ve known for most of his life. No, I’m not a parent, an aunt, or any other noteworthy person in his life. Although he’s incredible in his own right, I’ve known him and loved him through the heart of my friend, his mom. She is one golden friend.

The lead-up to this young couple’s big day left me in reflection. Traversing the spectrum of life with those who become treasured friends is pretty extraordinary. I’d even go further to say their presence in our lives is golden. 

Sharing life with friends is a chaptered story. My college friendships began in a dorm room, and the recollections of elevator mishaps, pizza deliveries, road trips, and all night paper-writing for that shared political science class still warrant “remember when” laughter even 40 years later. We’ve stayed in touch, and although we resonate with the same memories, we couldn’t be more different. We tease about dissimilarities, yet love each other more because of them. 

Then comes married life and children, and we find budding friendships grow when toddlers share Teddy Grahams, and we long for someone to “see” us despite applesauce stains on our pants or sweatshirts worn inside out while meeting at the park for a play group. We think such outings are for the kids, but the opportunity to talk about similar struggles are like pavers leading the way to a unique community of comfort. Experiences with fresh friends make most sense when they frame the quest to place the mundane into a greater meaning.

Candor and authenticity might be elusive in those early years of friendship, but then real life happens. We search to find our way in the world with those we love. We marry or we don’t. We have children or we don’t. We individually search for goodness and meaning in life; and some days we navigate better than others. Amidst it all, we learn we can depend. The soil of friendship’s garden continues to be tilled and fertilized, and even when we just try to make it through the day, our collective connection never wavers. 

Despite our differences, challenge is inevitable. Unexpected loss, cancer, trauma and unmet expectation catches up with us, and we were left with the choice. Do I share this, or not? Do I trust these people, or not? Do I let them in? For me, the consecration of friendship made possible by those who continue to insert themselves into my life, especially when messy, makes me feel very fortunate. Hence, gathering for celebrations of joy, like weddings, knowing we’ve shared so much makes the day that much sweeter. 

We found our seats at the outdoor venue and I saw my friend and her husband in the back of the garden preparing to escort their son towards his new life. She looked stunning. Dressed in the most lovely shade of pink with hair swept up in soft curl took my breath away. She was poised for celebration. The history of our friendship came flooding over my heart and pooled in the tear or two that fell against my cheek. I reached for the hand of our other friend, and in that brief squeeze, the unspoken understanding of how much we loved her and our collective road of friendship together was grasped. 

Soon, we’ll be in the next chapter; soup dribbles on our chin and last week’s gravy on our cardigans. But no matter, as long as we have each other, all will be golden.