My College Gals
I graduated from the University of Dayton 40 years ago. That kind time lapse is worthy of a book of thoughts, but that’s for another time. Other than the perfect score of 30/30 for a final paper I wrote on Eric Fromm’s “The Art of Loving,” the greatest legacy of my college experience is the gift of friendship. A close knit group my UD classmates remain paramount in the weave of my life. My kids know this group of treasured friends as my “college gals.”
40 years is a long time, and there were a few of those years when our friendships took a backseat to the tumbled world of work, family, triumph, and loss. Some of us were better at connection during this time. I would not characterize myself as one of them. I plead guilty to being absorbed in my own life. Yet, there was still this timeless link. Dayton Flyer pride? Memories of road trips to Buffalo? Sunday afternoon study sessions? The entity of life experience bottled up into these formative years provides a impervious glue that bonds us. Sharing this vast continuum of life development with the same people for a chunk of such formative years might result in the kind of friendship that lasts a lifetime. For me, it certainly did.
These days, our reunions seem to center around marking special occasions for our children, except for that one time we gathered in Michigan for our friend’s inauguration ball. No, this wasn’t a Presidential inauguration, but one important to her, so we showed up. Our reunion moments are usually defined by the run towards one another with that exuberant, rocking embrace. Joy is unleashed.
We have so many memories banked in our hearts. Although I am not the best historian, my college gals remember everything. From who was in the dorm elevator that one time to the Segway tour in Savannah to the litany of Bloody Mary’s we’ve enjoyed together over the past 40 years; the memories flood. But, what really binds us together transcends memories. Rather, quite simply, it’s laughter.
When a bunch of 62 year old’s get together and have this unspoken understanding of who we were and how we’ve become, the natural byproduct of being together is defined by companionship and comfort. We may be required to put on a fancy dress, but we always have flip flops on hand. We’ve traded late night pizzas for early morning walks, and share values defined by authentic experience; loss, triumph, and yes, UD Basketball. Despite our distance and vast differences, we truly love one another. Our bonds are sweet and secure, and we know one another probably too well. In our recent gathering, while sharing a meal with new acquaintances, my friend knew I was on the verge of saying something I might regret, so what does she do? Kicks me under the table. I’d say that’s a great friend; knowing me well enough to know the tangles I would cause by my unchecked word blurt. I knew better than to look at her as that inappropriate collapse into infectious giggles was just a glance away. Eye shifts communicate an entire conversation without a word.
We’ve come a long way from Freshman English and dining hall dinners. Far beyond the off-campus house with one mold-lined bathroom and a tuna helper stocked fridge, we’ve persisted in the commitment to remain really important to one another. Music by Meatloaf and Billy Joel might forever catapult us to yesteryear, but lingering love and genuine like for one another will always mean there’ll be a next time. Go Flyers.