My First Grandmother Outing
My daughter returned to work following her maternity leave. I offered to come stay with her for two weeks to help with the transition as my mother did for me so many years ago. I was grateful for the opportunity to care for my first grandchild and begin the treasured journey towards a really special relationship.
At the risk of sounding archaic like one of those old people who lament about “back in the day,” I found myself chuckling a bit about how things have changed. Infant car carriers must be lined with lead. I thought my arms were in pretty good shape until I had to carry Amelia in her seat to and from the car. I even had a random stranger offer to help me carry the car seat into the grocery. Did I look that awkward, and was I really having that much apparent difficulty? The good news is that Amelia slept the entire time I was giving her the equivalent of a roller coaster ride as I gripped the precious cargo despite feeling like I was in one of those strong women competitions. The recurrent exertion left me pining for a cup of tea and much deserved pastry, so we stopped at a local café known for their decadent home baked desserts.
Anticipating Amelia to wake, I entered the café with the car seat hooked in one arm and the overstuffed diaper bag slung over the other shoulder. It was stocked with every infant necessity in case a sudden blizzard arrived stranding us for days. There was nothing forgotten amidst the abyss burp cloths, baby wipes, and host of portable baby paraphernalia. I klutzed my way into the café, noting the one unoccupied booth. It looked perfect. The hostess warmly escorted us to the table “oohing and ahhing” over how adorable my granddaughter was. I felt my smile reach all corners of the restaurant. My first tea outing with Amelia was a dream come true.
The most joyful elderly people I know have permanent crows feet surrounding their eyes. It’s what happens when you are able to find the ability to smile despite a rocky life journey. Cheeks sag, but I think that leaves a softer place for a grandchild’s head to rest while reading a treasured book. Foreheads become lined, a result of surviving the worry and angst born from big love. Age spots dot skin randomly, bearing the marks of wisdom and insight of living life with purpose.
Gingerly, I placed my still sleeping grandbaby in the booth seat, sliding her carefully still snuggled in her car seat so that I could scoot in next to her. I anticipated a cup of tea warming my hands in no time. The thought of doing nothing but admiring the miracle next to me was golden.
As I prepared to situate myself, I forgot the extent to which I was an oversized load. The diaper bag, still sitting on the back of my shoulder knocked the entire table-top setting onto the floor. Bone china dishes shattered with a conversation stopping crash. Ice water filled glasses splattered into a million little pieces requiring the mop and pail from the restaurant storage room to make a mid-day appearance. The symphony of silverware chiming as it hit the tiled floor would have been welcome during a PBS Christmas concert, but was mortifying as I apologized to the restaurant staff in repeat mode. So much for my self-perceived suaveness as veteran mom of four, now in apparent newbie grandmother mode.
Following the anxiety induced heat flash, and the gracious response of the restaurant staff, I was able to sip my tea and enjoy the best blueberry muffin ever made. Amelia eventually woke, smiling her way even deeper into the depths of my grandmother heart.
These days, baby equipment is a bit more cumbersome and sophisticated. I am not ashamed to admit I’ve needed a tutorial in how to unfold the stroller and assemble the multi-part bottle system. But sitting next to Amelia that day, I realized how the most cherished elements of loving a baby will never change. The awe in making eye contact, making a fool of yourself for the sake of spontaneous giggles, finding tickle zones, and the heart overflowing with love is all the same. Oh wait, it might be even better this time around.