Ribbons That Bind Us
Photo by Julia Caesar on Unsplash
A few weeks ago, my sister and I attended the 2015 Out of Darkness Community Walk in Oakwood, Ohio. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offers education, support and open dialogue regarding the byproducts of depression, mental illness, and suicide. For those who struggle, the event offered a venue to raise awareness, and help those in attendance shed the shame and secrets of suicide. Coming together offers an opportunity to embrace and share what is often a lonely hurt.We are a varied and diverse people who journey through varied and diverse life adversities. Different colored ribbons adorn our lapels; embossed rubber bracelets garnish our wrists, both pointing to some part of our story that includes struggle and pain. The pink ribbons of October offer awareness for Breast Cancer, but it is also a month to remember Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Downs Syndrome and Domestic violence. November brings an opportunity to think about Lung Cancer and Diabetes. Walks are organized throughout the community bringing like-minded concerns to a common place in hopes of advancement and change.
As I stood among others who could relate to my family loss, I realized that our human nature longs for the opportunity to gather in support and solidarity, allowing contracted arms of despair to open into a greater community of common understanding.
I was surprised at the emotion that overcame me as I stood among the hundreds of participants and volunteers who were somehow touched by suicide. It was a beautiful day fall day. The sun was brilliant and made the gold and red hues of the autumn leaves glisten as they swayed to the harmony of the gentle winds. Despite the bright and positive backdrop, I felt tears overcome as the void of my two brothers lost to depression felt like a sucking quicksand returning me to a raw grief as if my loss were just yesterday.I ran into an acquaintance, someone I would have never expected to see at this occasion. “What are you doing here?” I said, as she opened her arms to embrace me. My tears flowed in the unexpected encounter, catching my usually controlled grief off guard.We talked. She, too, was walking in support of friend who lost a son to suicide. I looked around at all the people who wore color-coded beads indicating their loss of a child, parent, sibling, or friend. There were even necklaces for those with enough courage to state publically their own issues with depression or thoughts of suicide. There were hundreds in attendance wearing the same beads as me, a sign of our unified effort to remain in the light.Ribbons and walks of cause provide a sense of belonging, inviting individual stories of one to be enveloped into the volume of empathy offered by others. Sharing the unique challenges related to particular diseases, heartaches or trials allow goodness to flow despite awful circumstances. Yellow ribbons bind those who are touched by military deployment overseas. Green ribbons can signify mindfulness for organ donation or traumatic brain injury. Puzzle ribbons make us think of the struggles with autism. Wearing something for the cause is an outward sign that links a knowing of what it means to experience difficult circumstances.The probability of life throwing you a curve ball of unexpected despair is pretty high. The good news is if we allow it, the curve ball will land in a place where others who have paved the way towards survival will greet you with open arms. Such a hug feels pretty good, reminding us all that we are not alone.